Warn the Kitchens
by Songbird's Desk
Summary: Morgana, Gwen, Sir Bedivere and Sir Percival are sick of Merlin and Arthur not recognising their feelings. So, they decide that a little drink and a revival of an old prank wouldn't go astry. They're in for a rough couple of weeks. Slash. Arthur/Merlin


**Warn the Kitchens**

Bedivere watched Arthur and Merlin train from the battlements, Sir Percival as well as the Lady Morgana and Gwen surrounding him. "I wish that His Highness and Merlin would get a clue."

"This is Arthur and Merlin we're talking about, Sir Bedivere." Morgana murmured, wincing as Merlin collapsed under the Prince's blow. "I'm afraid that when it comes to each other, they're oblivious."

"Well, they do say love is blind." Gwen pointed out.

"Can't we do something?" Sir Percival scowled, crossing his arms and leaning against the nearest battlement. "Because at the rate they're going, they're going to be dead of old age before they realise."

"We can always get them drunk." Bedivere suggested absently.

"Even drunk they won't act on their feelings." Gwen grumbled.

"But if we make them think they did…" Morgana trailed off with a wicked grin.

Bedivere stared at the noble woman. "That might actually work. We will have to put up with them both storming about the castle for a week or so, but it should get them thinking."

"And if we do it several times, it'll make things go faster." Morgana added in delight.

"What, exactly, are we contemplating on doing?" Sir Percival asked cautiously.

"If we get them drunk enough to pass out and not remember it the next day, we can create compromising positions for them to wake up in." Gwen explained. "It was a game Milady and Sir Bedivere created before you arrived. They'd get Prince Arthur passed out drunk and then move him to odd locations for him to wake up in. They had to stop though when the Prince started to cut back on how much he drunk."

"Oh." Percival blinked. "First off, Merlin doesn't drink, and second, if the Prince limits what he drinks, how are you going to get him passed out?"

Gwen, Morgana and Bedivere shared a look. "Leave Merlin to me." Gwen grinned wickedly.

Morgana nodded. "I'll goad Arthur."

Bedivere chuckled. "This is going to be interesting."

AMAMAMAM

_One day later…_

AMAMAMAM

"You do realise, that if they find out we had a hand in this, we'll die." Bedivere murmured as he finished positioning Merlin next to Arthur.

The servants crowded in Arthur's rooms watched in surprise as Arthur gave a mutter and pulled Merlin in closer.

"Somehow, I don't think they'll mind over much." Morgana whispered.

"Well, they will if they find out we just undressed them in front of a crowd." Gwen stifled a laugh.

"Then it's a good thing that no one will be telling them." Percival called softly from the door. "I'm pretty sure the only one who doesn't know about this is the King."

"We'd better get some rest before the show starts." Gwen ushered everyone out of Arthur's rooms. "Remember, not a word."

AMAMAMAM

_One week later…_

AMAMAMAM

Bedivere winced as Arthur forcefully attacked Merlin on the training ground. "I've never seen him react like this before."

"He is a bit violent, isn't he?" Morgana mused beside him. "It's been a week already."

"I'm not looking forward to his reaction to tonight." Gwen clutched a fistful of her skirt. 'Are we sure we still want to do this?"

"If we don't, we'll have to put up with their forlorn looks and wistful sighs for who knows how long." Percival pointed out. "So are we going for Arthur's rooms again, or the stable?"

"Arthur's rooms again." Morgana breathed in sharply at the Prince's swing at Merlin. "Stable next week."

"If he doesn't kill poor Merlin before then." Bedivere muttered.

AMAMAMAM

_The next day…_

AMAMAMAM

"Morgana!"

Morgana blinked as Arthur barged into her rooms. "There is such a thing as knocking, Arthur."

"Did you do this?!" Behind him, Gwen bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Do what?"

Arthur ran a hand through his hair, looking rumpled. "Put me in bed with Merlin."

Morgana raised her brows. "You bedded Merlin?"

"No!" Arthur yelped, then paused. "Well, I don't think so." He shifted uneasily. "So, you didn't put us in bed together?"

"No I didn't." Arthur left, muttering under his breath, and Morgana grinned at Gwen. "However, Bedivere and Percival did."

AMAMAMAM

_Three weeks later…_

AMAMAMAM

"It's been four weeks and they still haven't done anything." Percival grumbled.

"Tonight should be the last time." Morgana patted the red-head's hand gently as they one more watched Arthur train Merlin. Or try to, at least.

"Where are we putting them tonight?" Bedivere nodded in approval as Merlin dodged a blow.

"Prince Arthur's rooms. It's been the stables the past two times." Gwen propped her chin on her palm. "I must say, I'm looking forward to them being in good moods again. The Prince has made nearly every female servant cry at least twice since this began."

"One more day." Morgana winced at a loud crash and yell. "We've just got to last one more day."

AMAMAMAM

_The next day…_

AMAMAMAM

By midday the next day, there was some concern over the absent Arthur and Merlin. It was brushed aside, however, when Percival pointed out that the two had drunk more last night that the other four nights. When they still hadn't appeared by dinner, it was decided that Gwen would be the one to check on them. When she cracked the door and peered into the room, she quickly jerked back, shutting the door again.

"What?" Bedivere grasped her shoulders, Percival and Morgana on either side looking just as worried.

"They're fine." Gwen squeaked. "I'd better warn the kitchens that they're going to be hungry tomorrow." She paused. "_Really_ hungry."


End file.
